My grandmother told me about the Trolls. They are Norweigian, short, disgruntled, bearded men who are homeless and live under bridges. In ancient times (before 1950), the Trolls charged people to cross the bridge. If you refused there was a lot of cursing, jumping about, threats and intimidation.
Perhaps you’ve met their cousins, the bullies.
In the 1950s the Trolls built troll booths, later called toll booths. The Trolls are very wealthy now.
The gnomes, elves and fairies are shy, cheerful and industrious. They love their work, tending plants, and worship their boss, Gaia.
Some people say fairies steal babies but I never believed that.
Fairies hold hands and dance in circles until they disappear. If you get too close, you’ll go to Fairyland. Fairyland time, like spaceship time, is different than Earth time. If you are in Fairyland for a little while, when you return to Earth many years have passed.
Be wary if a fairy wants to pay you for something. They’ll give you gold but after they’re gone it will turn into twigs and dried leaves. Most fairies have wings. The others ride birds.
The Irish clan, the Leprechauns, are in the shoe business. They are suspicious of banks and keep their money in pots at the end of rainbows. If you catch one, they’ll try to make a deal for their freedom by granting you three wishes. The European Union created a protected zone for Leprechauns in the Cooley mountains, in Louth. I wonder what the Leprechauns had to promise for that.
The Jinn live in the remove areas of Asia and Africa. They fly fast. Jinn look like a puff of smoke but who really knows; they are shape shifters. The Qur’an describes them as being made of fire. I hope the Jinn don’t vacation in Vancouver.
Evil spirits and demonic entities hang around energy sources, like power lines and electrical sockets. They can enter human bodies. Humans with high levels of dimethyltryptamine (DMT) can see them. With a will to fight and the right teacher, demonic entities are easily destroyed. Lavender works well to repel them. For an evil spirit infestation, it’s best to call the Catholic Church.
Very little is known about the skinny clones in the cool, cat-eye visors who walk through bedroom walls in the middle of the night. There are theories: they are from another dimension, space travellers, time travellers, earthlings from the future. They are fond of sticking needles up the nose and taking samples of reproductive tissue. Like the other tricksters, they may disguise their appearance, looking like birds, especially owls. They are interested in our souls. They may be responsible for all the zombies.
Vampires are the talk of the town but I’m skeptical they really exist. I know people who shun daylight but they aren’t vampires. Sleeping in a coffin doesn’t make you immortal. And just because a guy enjoys his steak blue doesn’t mean he can turn into a bat and fly away.
If vampires really exist, why would they drink their loved one’s blood? Hire a marketing company to find a good location then
- rent a space;
- paint it white;
- bring in some nurses.
Put up a sign that says, “Blood donations, enter here –>”
Vampires? Nah
49th and Pacific 