Cruises are big. I get it. Get on a boat. A new surprise every morning. Eat. Sleep. No effort required: Presto bingo bango. There you are in another place.

All that water though. Dark, deep, shifting; filled with strange things. Big, quick, small; alien things in an unknowable, uncontrollable, unpredictable viscous vastness.

Not my style. Ok, I have a phobia of deep, dark, vast water.

Half the fun is not getting there. Getting there is a necessary inconvenience which causes great dreading, crying and praying. Once on that silver coffin with wings getting there should be without delay – instantaneous, like science fiction:  here now then, whoa, there! How did that happen? With liquor, that’s how.

And then the delicious unpacking. Your whole holiday stretching out before you like a white sand beach. The daze fading into nights. Just the now. Until it’s over.

What is that in the harbour? A white, glistening ship just waiting for tourists to flock onboard.

No, not going to do it. Once again I choose the emptiness of space. After the engines cut out it will be a long way down. I hope I packed the Ativan.

2 Responses to “holidays”

  1. 49thandpacific Says:

    The South Pacific; I like your style!
    Drugs, don’t leave home without them V-Pub. While waiting to board try a little fortification at the closest hard bar. Then inform your flight attendant about your special needs; for those little bottles.


  2. The V-Pub Says:

    I dislike flying. It’s one of my greatest fears. I was a nervous wreck going from the east coast of the US to the South Pacific. I’m not sure I ever want to do that again!


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