Quotes

“Ok, everyone who is not a woman stop talking.” -Mika Brezensky, October 30, 2018, Morning Joe

“Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it.” -Lao Tzu

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” -George Carlin

“I like to hold the ball.  I feel like that really disrupts the base runners.” -Max Scherzer pitching for the Detroit Tigers

“Going to the pet store drunk is like going to the grocery store hungry.  Blah, blah, blah I own an iguana now.” -TinySparks at Mr. Jeremy Horn, Twitter

“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.” -Oscar Wilde

“And speaking of cartoon characters with apparent drug problems, how come Donald Duck has been going around for 50 years wearing a shirt but no pants?” -Dave Barry Talks Back

“A computer once beat me at chess but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” -Emo Phillips

“Don’t worry about making waves simply by being yourself. The moon does it all the time.” -Scott Stabile / Twitter @DrKellyCampbell

“Be regular and orderly in your life so that you may be violent and original in your work.” -Gustave Flaubert

“Life is full of obstacle illusions.” -Grant Frazier

The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be.” -Robert Fulghum

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” -Maureen Dowd

“I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.” -Arthur Rubinstein

“Tweeting this from the White House. The Obamas look so peaceful sleeping.” -Conan O’Brien

“A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.” -Wayne Gretzky

“What is this compulsion to have people over to your house and serve them food and talk to them?” -Larry David

“Two men look out through the same bars. One sees the mud and one the stars.” -Frederick Langbridge

“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler.” -Albert Einstein

“Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you’ve got to say, and say it hot.” -D.H.Lawrence

“If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Don’t hoard it. Don’t dole it out like a miser. Spent it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke.” -Brendan Francis

“Don’t forgive, never forget, and do unto others before they do unto you.” -J.R.Ewing, Dallas

“Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

“We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.” -Ethel Barrett”

“A bit of fragrance clings to the hand that gives flowers.” -proverb

“Voters may vote after the deadline, provided that they were in line when the clock struck seven.” -Jason Linkins, “Long Lines in Virginia” Huffington Post, November 6, 2012

“You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout, I’m telling you why. Most of you are going to hell.” -God @TheTweetof God, Twitter

“You can’t think yourself out of a writing block, you have to write yourself out of a thinking block.” -John Rogers

“I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.” -Steven Wright

“There’s math, and then everything else is debatable.” -Chris Rock to Jerry Seinfeld, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

“You know you’re beginning to fascinate me, and I resent that in any man.” -Aunt Hortense, The Gay Divorcee

“If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.” -T.S.Eliot

“To my mathematical brain, the numbers alone make thinking about aliens perfectly rational.” -Stephen Hawking, El Pais, September 25, 2015

“The underlying message of all his direction is:  You are enough. I don’t need more than you. I don’t need less than you. You’re enough.” -David Hyde Pierce about Mike Nichols, Vanity Fair, October 2015

“The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats.” -Jean Kerr

“There’ll be two dates on your tombstone

And all your friends will read ’em

But all that’s gonna matter is that little dash between ’em” -Kevin Welch

“As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind; every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.” -John Glenn

“I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical.” -Arthur C. Clarke

“Men always want to be a woman’s first love. Women like to be a man’s last romance.” -Oscar Wilde

“A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.” -John B. Priestly

“If I’d asked my customers what they wanted, they’d have said a faster horse.” -Henry Ford

“The best that most of us can hope to achieve in physics is simply to misunderstand at a deeper level.” -Wolfgang Pauli

“Is the brain the producer or reducer of consciousness?” -Whitley Strieber, Jeffrey J. Kripal Super Natural

“Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn’t, they’d be married too.” -H.L.Mencken

“I started a new dating website.  It’s called ‘Go Outside'” -Keenan Thompson, Saturday Night Live

“Don’t be afraid.” -Donald Trump, 60 Minutes, November 13, 2016

“Quotation:  The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.” -Ambrose Bierce

“Give me my pipe and slippers and a beautiful woman, and you can have my pipe and slippers.” -Niki Charles, Song of the Thin Man

“It’s our job to investigate the un-explained, not to explain the un-investigated.” -George Knapp, KLAS TV Las Vegas / Radio host Coast to Coast a.m

“Being the best is great. You’re the number one. Being unique is greater, you’re the only one.” -Anonymous

“A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.” -Unknown

“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.” -Naguib Mahfouz

“We’ll always have Paris.” -Nick (Humphrey Bogart) to Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman), Casablanca

“Is there anything better than to be longing for something, when you know it is within reach?” -Greta Garbo

“If you want a happy ending, that depends of course on where you stop your story.” -Orson Welles

Posted in Old News, quotes, Special people. Tags: . Comments Off on Quotes

Dear Reader

How are you holding up?  So many countries, you are always on the go.  Do you like flying?  I hope so.

When you aren’t in the U.K. or Brazil, Italy, France and all those other places, you come to Canada.  Do you like it the best?

I’ll pour some wine.

That solar vortex they’ve been talking about, it’s hit Vancouver.  It is very beautiful but cold.  Whistler cold.  Antarctica cold.  Ok, not that cold.

The wine is good.  Prophecy  Pinot Noir  California

Have you ever been to California?  It’s wonderful!  I feel like a million the moment I step off that plane…It’s winter here, it’s dark, people are coughing.

The drive to the airport…

A lot of drugs and alcohol later, a balmy breeze ruffles my freshly coiffed hair, gently dispersing the Chanel Chance green I bought at the duty free.  Flowering cacti blanket the sandy hills.  But I digress …

I’ve been meaning to express my appreciation.  You’ve been with me for 10 years. Thank you!

Every now and then I look for where you are, and wonder what you’re doing there.  What are you doing there?  Really?

I’m going to California soon.  The sun will be setting.  The air will be sweet.

You were in Egypt yesterday.  Is the terrain similar?  Have you been to the pyramids?  Does the desert bloom?

So many questions.  I’m more of a listener.

Dear Reader, enjoy your travels.  Stay in touch.

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Address to a Haggis by Robert Burns

In Scottish

Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin’-race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye worthy o’ a grace
As lang’s my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a’ their weel-swall’d kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
‘Bethankit’ hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither’d rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He’ll make it whissle;
An legs an arms, an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow’rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis

English translation

Your pin would help to mend a mill
In time of need,
While through your pores the dews distill
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour wipe,
And cut you up with ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like any ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm steaming, rich!

Then spoon for spoon, the stretch and strive:
Devil take the hindmost, on they drive,
Till all their well swollen bellies by-and-by
Are bent like drums;
Then old head of the table, most like to burst,
‘The grace!’ hums.

Is there that over his French ragout,
Or olio that would sicken a sow,
Or fricassee would make her vomit
With perfect disgust,
Looks down with sneering, scornful view
On such a dinner?

Poor devil! see him over his trash,
As feeble as a withered rush,
His thin legs a good whip-lash,
His fist a nut;
Through bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit.

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his ample fist a blade,
He’ll make it whistle;
And legs, and arms, and heads will cut off
Like the heads of thistles.

You powers, who make mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill of fare,
Old Scotland wants no watery stuff,
That splashes in small wooden dishes;
But if you wish her grateful prayer,
Give her [Scotland] a Haggis!

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She said

She said:  You seemed a little tentative last time I brought trifle.

20 minutes after dinner, while she’s freshening up,

then midnight to 2 should finish it.

She said:  But I know you like custard

… still a few hours tomorrow morning before the noon deadline …

She said:  So I made it myself

Bernie’s away. I’ll have to chair the directors’ meeting.

She looks very pleased with herself.

Check the agenda.

She said:  I did keep the jello. I know you like raspberries!

Ok…, distracted now by the open wine …

Good, as long as no one wants to add Other Business …

She said:  Mmmm

She’s smelling it.

I probably won’t need the time anyway, but it’ll take the pressure off.

She’s pouring us glasses.

Those grey sheer curtains aren’t working. That was their mistake. I know I ordered …

She said:  Cheers!

“Cheers!”

clink

I’ll be in the Review at least until 2, last time it was after 3,

…what is the topic?

She is pretty,

warm eyes.

She said:  Earth to Asteroid 8240, come in…

She seems so happy to see me.

I love her laugh.

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The Meaning of Relativity by Albert Einstein, Introduction by Brian Greene

Brian Greene and I speak the same language, English, at least in some of his books.

His simple explanations bring concepts into focus for simple me.

His Introduction was a pleasure.

And then the Introduction ended.

The main event began.

The Meaning of Relativity

page 1:

“The theory of relativity is closely connected with the theory of space and time. I shall therefore begin with a brief investigation of the origin of our ideas of space and time, although in doing so I know that I introduce a controversial subject. …”*

As much as I cherished the lessons from Brian Greene, here now was Albert Einstein, talking to me like I understood every word.

Bliss.

Communication is so important. Despite the wide chasm in our I.Q.s, we were doing just fine since we met 3 minutes ago. I eased deeper into the Macy’s Martha Stewart medium and extra firm pillows, took some deep relaxing breaths, and rejoiced in my good luck to finally be introduced to him, Albert Einstein, after all these years. Why had I resisted for so long?

page 3:

“…By means of simple changes in position we can bring two bodies into contact…”*

He is a sweet talker. I don’t mind.

But then, as all relationships do I suppose, a perturbation arose.  It happened when I turned to page 4;  a lack of understanding if you will, a gap.

What was that?

– An equation.

I read the passage once more, and again.  Yes, phew, got through that hurdle.  And we are back on track.

“Does anyone ever call you Al?”

Onward to page 5.

Here again was a challenge. Another equation. But it was small, simple letters.

Got it. Where there is a will there is a way Al.  Now that I’ve found you I’m going to persevere.

And so Al continued his discourse.

Wow! Who knew? Me and Al.

Until page 6, where a total communication break down occurred.

Sadly, our relationship was over.

With a heavy heart I turned off the light.

I will always remember the hope. And now, to dream.

*The Meaning of Relativity by Albert Einstein with an Introduction by Brian Greene
Princeton University Press, New Princeton Science Library Edition, 2014
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Bernie Sanders I Love You

NYT, Seth Wenig/Associated Press

NYT, Seth Wenig/Associated Press

No I do not want to look at your condo rental in Santa Monica

Not your baby cousin either.

“Mmm”

Not your begonia or any of its friends, the trifle you made, shoes exactly like our server has – I’m taking your word for it.

“Cheers!”

Yesterday’s sunset, your brother’s car, the full moon.

“It doesn’t do justice to it does it? It’s always bigger than the picture shows.”

I haven’t seen you in a while. Put down your device. Look at me. I’m talking to you.

“Did you finish the eagle sculpture you were working on?”

Ah, yes. There it is. Well, it is really grand.

“How is your mother?”

Of course, a picture is worth a thousand words.

“I’m taking my glasses off.”

I’m opening the case and dropping them in. There. And now, into the purse…

“It looks like a toxic dump. Oh, it’s the modern painting in your living room. Yes, I can kind of make that out, now that you mention it.” [squinting]

“No glasses…” [gesturing to eye area]

“Certainly. I have them.”

“No. Not going to. Talk to me.”

Yes, I’ve heard of YouTube.”

Check!

 

Posted in Special people, Talking to myself. Tags: , , . Comments Off on No I do not want to look at your condo rental in Santa Monica
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